Friends vs. Family
Last night while I was at work I was thinking. (How’s that for a really bad opening sentence?) I was pondering the friends versus family concept. I’m sure you’ve all heard the quote: ” You can choose your friends: but you can’t choose your family.” (And the more amusing little boy humor: “You can pick your nose, but you shouldn’t pick your friend’s nose.”)
I grew up in a wonderful family. Like all families we had our good and bad moments. However, I think that overall, I was a very lucky kid. My parents weren’t alcoholics, or druggies; they didn’t beat me; they always showed interest in what I did, and even when I made choices that they didn’t approve of, they stood behind me. Not to mention just simply feeding, educating, and guiding my path into life.
In high school and college I made a lot of interesting friends. I loved my family but I had grown tired of them and yearned for something new, more interesting. People with whom I could freely express myself and not have to worry about what they would think.
George Burns: “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
At one time I fully agree with George on this one. In fact until quite recently I’ve not really had the desire to live anywhere near my family. (Side effect of spending the first few months of marriage living upstairs perhaps?) After 2+ years of being married, working a blue collar job, and with another kid on the way: my perspective has shifted.
I’ve had some truly wonderful friends in my short life. There have been a multitude of people that I wish I could have hung out more with, but I’ve been blessed with a couple really close friends. The sort of friends who help you bury bodies.
One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.
George Santayana
In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Albert Schweitzer
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
But when things really get tough, its your family that will take you in. If I loose my job, or my wife dies, or any other number of truly terrible things happens; it will be my family that carries me through. True my friends will still be there, and my really close ones will also help out, but it will be my family that takes the bulk of the load.
Even my best friends, as dedicated, and well-intentioned as they are, simply don’t have the means or ability to say: adopt my kids if I die, or give my family a roof if I’m unemployed. Even your best friends forget about you when you’ve moved farther away, but your family will always be calling your house, or try and stop by for a visit.
A good family is one of the most valuable things you can have. It’s another one of those intangible riches that you can’t just find, or buy in a store. This spring I’m moving back near my tiny hometown, to work on the farm again, and take some time to raise my kids in the country while my family graciously allows me even more time to figure out just what it is I want out of life. The scary part is, even after all my wanderlust, and complaining about how crazy my family: I’m looking forward to it!
George Moore: “A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.”
